5 Insane Ways Uncle Joey Affected Your Life...
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| your gonna want to sit down |
Dave Coiler
Outside of this show, which I can happily admit was a favorite of mine on the legendary ABC TGIF lineup, Dave Coulier lead an amazing, almost Forest Gump-ian journey thru different aspects of pop culture. I am not talking about a Bakula-esk creation of things that came after. I am talking about a dopey chanuk who happened to bumble his way into and witnessed almost everything you've experienced as you have grown up the past almost 30 years.
Things like....
5. The Beef
After you read this, call your mom. Ask her who Shai Labeouf is. Guess what she will say, "oh yes I know him! He's that nice boy from that Indiana Jones movie your dad likes so much!"
Shia Labeouf is a young actor who in the course of a few short years, has successfully run scatter shot over every thing you loved as a child. He was the lead character in Micheal Bays destruction of the Transformers, a monkey boy who witnessed Indy tangle with ET, and out Charlie Sheened Charlie Sheen in Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps. Also sadly I hear that an inevitable remake/sequel to the Goonies will be ruined by him. All these atrocities were prophesied in Mr. The Beef first major studio film release.
In early 2004, Shia appeared in a made for TV movie of the show he co-starred in, The Even Stevens Movie. An oddly inspired movie about Shia and his family's hi jinks on a rigged island reality show. The film was good enough to lead Mr. Shia to other projects like Disney's Holes and vaguely Rear Windowish Disturbia. Like a terrible Rube Goldberg devise, these minor hit roles lead Shia to his career of destroying your childhood.
Now we sit here in 2012, a vast waste land of big budget travesties lead by The Beef. Imagine if that little shows movie send off had been a failure? Would Shia be the leading man is his today? Who knows, but do you know who was there when all this began?
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| Hey remember my promising SNL career? Anyone? |
4. I've heard this voice somewhere before?
Quick, name a voice you've heard Dave Coulier do? If your an astute reader, then of course you said Popeye from earlier in this article. Oh how I envy your innocence. It goes so much deeper then that!
Fact: Uncle Phil from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air played Shredder on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Fact: Dottie from Pee Wee's Big Adventure played Tommy Pickles from Rugrats
Fact: Uncle Joey from Full House played Animal and Bunsen Honeydew on the Muppet Babies, Rick Moranis's Bob McKenzie on the Bob & Doug McKenzie cartoon, Scooby Doo-Fred Flintstone-Popeye on Robot Chicken, several voices on Pinky and the Brain, Dexter Laboratory, The Little Mermaid show, Teen Titans, the Original Scooby and Scrappy Doo, Felix the Cat in recent incarnations, oh and while were on the subject...Peter Venkman on the Real Ghostbusters!! Yes, Dave Coulier stepped in for Bill Murray on over 100 episodes in three different Ghostbusters TV shows and NO ONE ever knew!!! This goober was schlepping it up with Michelle Tanner on Friday nights, then going over and doing spot on Ghostbuster Bill Murrays on Saturday mornings!!!
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| Pictured: Perfect cartoon versions of Ackroyd, Murray, Ramis, and Hudson by someone who had no idea who those people are. |
3. ____ beget Jackass, beget Americas Got Talent, beget Tosh.0
Earlier I mentioned a Rube Goldberg devise. One thing makes another thing happen, which does another, etc. Here is another example of how one thing does another and so on.
Picture it 1989. One of the most popular televisions show at the time was simply a show where you sent in your dumb home movies of your grandpa getting hit in the junk with a football, or your granny flashing her unmentionables after falling out of her chair, would be played on prime time TV while Full House's Bob Saget tried in earnest to polish turds to make you laugh between each clip. This show, the aptly named "Americas Funniest Home Videos", was insane! My family as well sent in our goofy tapes in hopes to win the big $100,000 prize at the end of each season. This gem of a show had a near cult following at the time. Every one would turn in to see what crazy things people had done out there and to point and laugh.
One of the unforeseen things to come from this show was the "intentional" videos that were sent in. Staged videos being passed as accidents-"oops i sawed that tree down on top of my car". The producers of the original show came up with a logical solution, a spin-off. A show where they would want people to sent in videos of them selves doing stupid things on purpose for money! And guess what, this little show will have a stand up comedian host that make funny jokes about the videos. We will call it "Americas Funniest People".
Ok, hold that concept right there, a television show where people do stupid things and they are video taped? Hmm interesting (like Jackass?) . And each video will feature people of varying skills and talents competing for the same prize? Hmm ok (like Americas got Talent?) . And each video will be introduced and laughed about by a stand up comedian. Ok, I'm sold! (Get Danial Tosh on the phone)
Alright, I am not saying that "America's Funniest People" alone spawned all these other shows. I'm saying that the show itself was a neat place to see crazy and funny videos which in turn helped steer America toward a singularity where all there nutty videos, whether staged or by accident, could be housed and enjoyed forever...You Tube.
That's Incredible, Star Search, Americas Funniest Home Videos/People, all these daffy shows all led up to what become You Tube. Any batshit thing you wanna see can now be searched up and viewed at any moment, and laughed at with your buddies. These shows, slowly over the years, brought us to this point of instant Grandpa/football/groin satisfaction.
OH! And before I forget..
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| That's were the least amount of shame is? |
2. You Oughta Know ....by Now
VH1 in 2000 compiled a list of the top 100 songs of the 1990's. The list was made to showcase all the best of what made the nineties so nineties-y. #12 on the list is by all accounts as nineties as they come. The song its self is a extra large glass of coffee bar cappachino flowing over with Doc Martin boots and flannel shirts. The song of course is Alanis Morrisettes "You Oughta Know".
In 1995, America was delivered a nice angst filled little pixie from our neighbors from the north. Alanis Morrisette brought with her a little album she made with Flea and Dave Navarro of all people called "Jagged Little Pill". If you've never listened to this album in its entirety I highly recommend it. Its a crazy mix of mid nineties slacker counter culture, crazy stalker, and grr i hate my ex energy. The one song that got most Americans to the party was "Hand in my Pocket", what made them stay and caused America to fall in love with Alanis was "You Oughta Know".
"You Oughta Know", or YOK for the sanity of this writer, is a lovely little song about the magic and wonders of two souls in love as the pledge there love for each other in eternal bliss.....Ha just kidding! Its a hate filled rant from a jaded ex-girlfriend as she lays a guilt trip on her former boyfriend.
This tune is like a cliff notes version of every terrible thing an ex as yelled at you during a break-up, or what you may have ranted to an ex about your self. Alanis herself has said in a number of interviews that the feeling and emotions in this song came from a real terrible break-up in her personal life. One could argue that this song was a catalyst or at least contributed to many other strong woman led music of the era, think 4 non blondes, Edie Brickel, hell even Spice Girls to a lesser, prettier degree.
And the Ex that caused such anger in young Alanis? The man that spun her into and out of the future arms of Ryan "God I hate Green Lantern" Reynolds? Yes...Dave Coulier!
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| A 5 plus an 8 = meh |
1. Every thing you ever watched as a kid
I have a fun game we should play, get out a pen and paper or an empty word doc and just from memory and memory alone try this exercise: From you earliest memory to today...name every Nickelodeon television show you ever watched or at least knew about. Start writing! In the interest of inclusion I will play as well.
Nickelodeon TV shows: Salute your Shorts, Hey Dude, Round House, Don't Just Sit There, You Can't do that on Television, Clarissa Explains it All, Rugrats, All Grown Up, All That, Kenen and Kel, Pete&Pete, Are you afraid of the Dark, The Amanda Show, Double Dare, Super Slopy Double Dare, Finders Keepers, Legends of the Hidden Temple, Today's Special, I'm Telling, Guts, SpongeBob squarepants, Jimmy Neautron, Ned's Declassified, Angry Beavers, CatDog, Aahh Real Monsters, Doug, iCarly, Drake and Josh, Fifteen, Rocko, Ren & Stimpy, Victorious, Hey Arnold, The Wild Thornberrys, Invader Zim, Catscratch, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Secret World of Alex Mac.......
OK, now factor in all the shows that Nickelodeon acquired over the years that you personally enjoyed growing up. Think Nick at Nite, and Nick Jr. That is a huge chunk of ALL our adolescent television watching. I'll bet your Nickelodeon list is infinitely larger then say a Disney Channel or Cartoon Network list!
Nickelodeon, or as the cool kids call it Nick, has dominated not only children's cable television but the whole of cable television for over 3, yes THREE decades!! It is were the best original programming comes from and where some of the greatest television shows ended up. Hell, right now they are working on a brand new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles show...RIGHT NOW!!!
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| Power Rangers come and go, but you 4 still kick ass! |
But...that's not the way it always was.
In 1977, as Cable Television was slowly becoming a 'thing', distributors like Warner Cable soon found them selves with 'channels' that strangely needed 'shows'. Enter a tiny start-up channel with a cutesy little name called Pinwheel and a novel idea of airing kids programming. Programming which was imported from Canada. Everything was going fine till around 1984 when Warner Cable said, "ya know, 'You Can't Do That On Television' is all great but, maybe you should make some original shows?"
So Pinwheel, with there new "make original shows" orders re branded and recreated them selves. First thing was to change the name of the channel itself from Pinwheel to Nickelodeon, (quaintly named after the creepy peep shows our sailor grand pappys watched on shore leave), and a few original shows went into production.
The very first show was a sketch/talk show with You Can't do that on Television sensibilities but with a splash of good ol' American crazy called "Out of Control". The show featured uber 80's wacky-ness and guest stars like Bruce Baum and Bill Bixby. It ran only for a year and a half but in its short run it was a hit which gave Nick the momentum to create other shows like Mr. Wizards World and Double Dare, slowly green sliming its way to becoming the juggernaut channel/magazine/theme park/movie studio/this authors childhood it is today.
But lets play devils advocate, what if that first show, "Out of Control" was a failure? And if it was, Nick would have had much of a chance of surviving as Alisters brand new piano key tie would have stayed clean after saying I don't know. Had Nick not lasted, re look at your list of shows, and imagine ALL of them gone! No Double Dare, Rugrats, Clarissa, Ren & Stimpy, all of it gone! What a sad sad childhood we all would have had. But thanks to the first show, "Out of Control", we all know now that a giraffes tongue is black, log is good for boy and girl, and whenever you don't know the answer...taking a physical challenge is sometimes your best option.
Oh, before I forget. The silly yet even mannered straight man host of "Out of Control" was quick with 'jokes', could do funny impressions, and had a cute little saying he liked to toss around every now and then when things got a little nuts. He would put his fingers up like a pair of scissors and say "Cut-It-Out" , god help me, his name ... was Dave Coulier.
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| Are you effing kidding me!?!? |
A thought to cry your self to sleep tonight:
Uncle Joey was there when Shia Labouf began destroying our childhoods,
a childhood that he himself witnessed.
Until next time Blogites!
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